Honestly I don’t think you should compromise your happiness for a relationship that makes you so stressed out. This may just be me but from all the good relationships I have seen and been around, they don’t seem to ever stress each other out to the point where the other cant focus or it impedes on their daily life. They may fight and such here and there but that hardly gets in the way and gets resolved. Doesn’t cause much stress. Now if you are staying in this relationship because you cant find someone else or think you cant find someone else, then you aren’t only hurting your self but him as well. Maybe you should explain it to him and see his thoughts on it. Maybe he can help fix it and make it less stressful for you. After all relationships are all about communication. If it still doesn’t help then I say you break it up for a while and maybe he will get things in perspective and you will too. Look out for your happiness and don’t let things get in the way of that.
My advice: Don’t go alone. Go with a a friend (family) or 2. Check him out that way and make a judgement call from there. Be safe and cautious always and just use your head.
I believe it was George Washington who said “Be courteous to all, but intimate with few, and let those few be well tried before you give them your confidence. “
With this in mind I want to say a couple of things. As you may know by now life is unpredictable in the sense that friends come and go as much as it hurts to say. Even best friends turn may turn their back on you. But I once said earlier as a quote “Don’t let a person from your past blind you from seeing the love of a person in your present. Hold on to the past with both arms and you have nothing to grasp the future with”
So merging both quotes together into a summary is basically saying that regardless of what people have done to you in the past you should still give everyone a chance because you might be missing out on a beautiful friendship if you dont. Though you should evaluate them and make sure they are 100% genuine before giving them your friendship that way you have a less chance of getting hurt. Don’t hold on to the past to hard because that blinds you from seeing the beauty in front of you. So go ahead and be his friend and Que Sera Sera.
-Jay
I’m 20 (almost 21) and I’ve never had a girlfriend. Only kissed one time. I have never been romantically involved with anyone. But nothing is wrong with me so nothing is wrong with you. Let me just preach for a minute. The thing is you cant just go looking for love because you will find it in the wrong places or not find it at all and be frustrated and start losing confidence/self esteem. I realized that a long time ago. Love just happens, its sort of an accident. So let love come to you but don’t be a closed door. Be open and friendly and keep a positive mind and heart and let that shine for others to see. That what they will fall in love with. Love your self first. This philosophy has gotten many people a lot more attention and looks than their former approach. You are fine love :) Just keep being you and make your self known to people and mingle. Sooner or later the right person will find you. P.S
notice that last line :)
Well all you can really do is talk to her. From what I’ve learned there is no direct way to help and alcoholic. Everything you do is an indirect method. Set the example and show them alcohol is better in moderation and living a non self destructive life is the better way to go. Let them know people care about them and that shes is hurting more than herself by drinking. They have to make the choice and see the consequences and such. Don’t be forceful or threaten them but be calm and offer help. Let them know these things and just be there for her. Keep an eye on her and keep the techniques in mind next time you see her start drinking.
- Jay
All I can say is that she needs to be talked to. I think you should tell your parents or something, because this could really hurt her.
- Rachel
It may just take more time. Would you rather he lie and say he loves you if he doesn’t mean it, or wait until he does? He also might have an underlying problem, maybe something psychological. I have a friend who can’t say it because it was the last thing she said to her mother before she died. Things like that. If it’s a big deal, try saying it first. You may be surprised about what happens.
- Rachel
Fight for him. I don’t really believe in “types.” Take me for example, my boyfriend and I are complete opposites. We only agree on one thing: disagreeing. That doesn’t mean we’re not meant for each other. Don’t let iy stand in your way. Go for it.
- Rachel
Different people feel different ways after losing their virginity. People who are deeply in love with each other will feel the sense of attachment. Its not weird for you not to feel anything. Its all the mindset that you have about losing your virginity and how important you feel it is. Not all people feel the same so its not weird at all !
- Jay
Everyone has different experience. I have a friend who felt nothing at first. She had sex with one other guy after that, and I guess it just never hit her until the second time. It may never hit you, but even if it doesn’t, it’s not weirds at all.
- Rachel
Thanks! But when it comes to friends, you have to be persistent. Talk to him more. Make more physical contact with him, like touching his hand or sitting next to him. Little hints can show him that you’re interested.
- Rachel.
I agree with the answer above. To add a few things laugh at his jokes and playfully joke with him as well. See him more like setting up hang out dates and such. Call him or exchange online communications. Compliment him and pay attention to what he has to say.
- Jay
Before I answer this question I have to say that I’m answering from experience and things that helped me. Its not always easy and wont happen instantly. It’s something you have to work gradually. Something I started off that helped me was to get away from my current negative environment. This may not always be possible but it can be avoided most of the times. Find friends, real friends, who you can confide in and be honest with and let your insecurities out. Let them comfort you and the thing is they will be honest in attempt to help you overcome them. You can’t be in denial and my accept all your insecurities in order to overcome them. Trusting people and confiding in them in order to seek help is a good way to start. Next you have to understand you have to think positive. This may be the hardest step but understand everyone doesn’t view you as you think you do and rarely do people see flaws as much as you think they do. Someone once told me that at any given time when you think that you’re not good enough, there’s always someone who wishes they could be like you or in your position. It’s a good thought to keep in mind and it helped me realize I shouldn’t be worried if I’m not perfect because those who matter don’t mind and those who mind don’t matter right? You have to understand that thinking positive is the biggest step toward freeing yourself of those insecurities. Keep track of your progress, take it step by step as you interact with people and slowly free yourself. Just be assertive and go out there and do things. The last thing is that you have to understand you only live once. Life is full of joy and happiness but if you don’t let that in you wont be happy. If you think about your insecurities all the time, then all you do is limit yourself to being happy and having fun. Have fun put a smile on your face and remember that people do find you perfect the way you are. True not everyone may but then again no one in the world can please everyone. Even the hottest guy or girl in the world may be unattractive to some. I was told that once and It made so much sense. So yea have fun in life and don’t think about those things that will make you sad. It’s easier said than done true but it works :) As long as your honest with yourself and your friends, understand that you are beautiful to people, understand you can’t please everyone and understand you have one life so go out and put a smile on and be happy, things will work out :)
-Jay
